Is Sologamy not a psycho-sexual chronic narcissistic disorder?

Narcissus, the son of Cephissus and Liriope, in Greek mythology, fell in love with his own reflection in the water. In Freudian psychoanalysis he is represented as an excessive degree of emotional involvement to the self that it makes anyone ignore the needs of those around him. A chronic narcissist, in psycho-sexual studies, believes that s/he only deserves the body of the self for love and is prone to make sexual intimacy with the self.

History repeats itself. Kshama Bindu, a 24 year's Indian blogger married herself recently as the first institutor of sologamy in the subcontinent. Kshama herself and a scrap of fellow people termed the act as the highest exemplification of the 'love to self', 'individualism' and 'freedom of women'.

The writer here tries to figure out the rationales behind such claims on some psycho-social perspectives. Firstly, we should acknowledge that we all are narcissists to some extent. To cherish our self-esteem do we really need to marry ourselves? Not at all. To ensure our freedom and escape from other's domination, many a women and men in modern days prefer to lead single life around the world. Then why to marry oneself in a ceremonial way? Going to honeymoon with the self? The answer is simple. It's because, s/he wants to establish psycho-sexual relationship with the self. It's not a matter of 'freedom'. As we all know that the purposes of marriages are fulfilling the biological needs and socialisation. So, sologamy is utterly a practice of desiring the self for sex. A family having none other than me is undeniably an unsocial practice.
Marriage never can define self respect, independence and feminism. All of these are broader concepts with high human values and dignity. Furthermore, the practice of sologamy is not a practice among women only, there have scattered examples in men too. Meet Ru, a British man became headlined after marrying himself as a proud sologamist.

Narcissus died after falling in love on him, was seen as a curse in ancient Greece. And the 'curse' institutionalized in modern world in 1993 for the first time with the marriage of Linda Baker, a dental hygienist from the US. Molly Boland, a Marriage and Family Life researcher thinks that this practice is the bitter fruit of individualism, which is the prime force to break the collective norms and larger ties in the society. In her  'Sologamy: The Outcome of a Narcissistic Society' she wrote, "After years of promoting individualism and the 'looking out for number one' mentality, the second decade of the twenty-first century is seeing the bitter fruit of the misunderstanding of human nature".

A bunch of criticisers however, addressed Kshama as attention seeker and they think that the girl wanted to be 'viral'. The writer modestly opposing you dear, since the sense of sologamy is a Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

Sophie Tanner, a British promoter of sologamy, wrote a blog titled "A Guide To Sologamy" on her website "imarriedme.co.uk". She claimed, "Yes, you can have sex (you're not a nun), yes you can marry again, yes you can have your self-wedding cake and eat it!" A chronic narcissist approach, of course!

In her article she asserted that self-weddings offer an opportunity to officially recognise a major life transition. But still she is confused about her belief as she self-contradictorily wrote, "Today, when a woman has a wedding without a husband, it is an empowering response to a society that tells her she needs a man to live happily ever after".

The picture is crystal clear that the sologamists are either misanthropists or have feared to make love with other, which is known as borderline personality disorder (BPD) in psychology. They may avoid commitment due to an intense fear of being abandoned or rejected. They also tend to have trust issues, popularly termed as Pistanthrophobia.  Philophobia and Gamophobia are couple of other possible reasons behind the practice of Sologamy. A sologamist also poses an idea that one's body is more beautiful and sexier than anybody in the world and hence, one becomes addicted to self beauty and tries to establish self-intimate relationship.

Brazilian model Cris Galera can be the best example of psychological instability of a Sologamist. Galera married to herself in September 2021 and divorced after 90 days as she met with a man to marry off.

In the era of worldwide web when the world comes in our palm, the social media contents and audio-visual representation of anything especially on the Over The Top (OTT) platforms create huge impact to flame the hidden psychological disorders among many a frustrated, traumatized and deviated young peoples. Media played a key role in spreading the 'Sologamy' practice as well. Sex and the City, a popular American serial, represented the idea of sologamy when Carrie Bradshaw married to her. It was a satire but created huge impact among young Americans especially those who are frustrated, divorced and those who had break-ups.
Ahasan Uddin Bhuiyan  writer, The Daily Observer journalist