Love & Respect

 

Men and women differ in many ways, particularly when it comes to their marital wants and aspirations. In this book, Emerson Eggerichs claims that if we understand what our partner wants, we will be on the path to a happy and satisfying union. The author uses his extensive counseling experience, scientific facts, and the Bible to teach us how to recognize and treat differences whileensuring a better response to our partners' needs.

According to the author, practically all marital issues stem from two statements: "He doesn't love me" and "She disrespects me."Men and women differ in various ways, yet marriage is only concerned with the spouses' desires. "Wives are made to love, want to love and expect love," he says, while "Husbands are made to be respected, want respect, and expect respect."
When wives aren't shown love, they act disrespectfully, and when husbands aren't shown respect, they act as if they don't love. The cycle of incorrectly interpreted reactions will go on indefinitely until you figure out what's spinning it in the first place.The wife thinks her husband's unenthusiastic response is the outcome of hislackings of affection. On the other hand, the husband finds the feelings that his wife dislikes him as a person.

Here is the question that most wives are concerned about- "Does my husband love me as much as I love him?" When you ask a husband if his wife loves him, he will likely respond affirmatively. When you ask him if she likes and respects him, he will probably say, "No."When it comes to love and respect that spouses want, the problem isn't lack of love or respect, but rather a lack of love or respect in their words or actions.

How to express love to your wife
You may avoid problems by learning your wife's love language, fueling her with affection, and inspiring her to treat you with the respect you deserve.Husbands can "spell love" to their wives by simply following these three instructions from the book.  

Openness
Women are "expressive-responsive"whichmeans they enjoy talking about their difficulties or emotions.  Share your emotions with her, as well as your day's events and challenges. Inquire about her mood.

Understanding
 Pay attention to what your better half is saying. If she doesn't ask, don't try to "fix"her situation; instead, express care and empathy.Even if her feelings appear unreasonable to you, don't reject them.

Esteem
Nurture her self-esteem. Occasionally express your appreciation, "My love, I could never perform your job."Make commentsabout her hair and dress, and encourage your children to be respectful of her.

How to show your husband respect
Now it's up to the wife to grab some effectivetechniquesto show your husband respect and increase his love for you.

Conquest - Men have an innate urge to "work and succeed." As a result, their careers are vital to them. Let your husband know how much you really value his efforts at work and how much you enjoy hearing abouthis adventures at work.

 Authority - Your husband should make some decisions about family life because he is responsible for the family. Praise his wise choices. Respect his authority in front of your children.If you disagree with him, discuss it privately.Remember that he has good intentions, so don't beoffended by his advice when it doesn't suit you.

Relationship - Women love to share experiences by talking about them, while men share experiences by doing something together. For example, if your husband wants you to watch TV with him, go ahead and do it, even if you have more important things to do at that moment. Your presence gives him a boost.So if you sit next to him as he watches TV or reads the newspaper, he will appreciate it.

Finally, anyone who has been married or in a relationship knows that love isn't always enough to keep a relationship going. The book "Love & Respect" provides us with great tools in a way that leads to a happy and long-lasting marriage.
The reviewer is an avid reader and schooling in the Department of English, Hazi Salim College, Dhaka