JD Vance, the U.S. Vice President with the rhetorical subtlety of a sledgehammer, just dropped a truth bomb on Europe so explosive it’d make a German bureaucrat spill his "Apfelwein". In a speech at the Munich Security Conference, Vance didn’t just roast European policies—he deep-fried them, served them with a side of populist outrage, and left the EU clutching its pearls like a Victorian widow at a rave.
Vance kicked off his rant by skewering Europe’s love affair with censorship, calling it a “retreat from fundamental values.” Translation: Europe’s playing '1984' Bingo. Romania cancels elections? Check. Sweden arrests a guy for torching a Quran? 'Jawohl'. Britain nabs a dude 'praying' near an abortion clinic? 'Cheerio, mate'—you’re under arrest for… 'checks notes'… quietly talking to God? Vance nailed it: Europe’s free speech is “in retreat,” hiding behind Soviet-era buzzwords like “misinformation” like a toddler behind a curtain. It’s not democracy; it’s a clown car of censorship.
Then there’s Europe’s migration policy—or as I call it, the "Let’s Import Chaos" or LIC Special. Days after a 24-year-old Afghan man rammed a car into a crowd in Munich (injuring 36), Vance asked: “How many times must we suffer these setbacks?” Good question! Europe’s answer? More paperwork, less common sense. Germany’s had 1.2 million asylum seekers since 2022, and their “solution” is to scold anyone who mentions it. Vance, channeling his inner Trump, basically said, “Y’all built a welcome mat for crises, then act shocked when your house gets burned.”
Vance accused Europe’s elite of being terrified of their own voters. Germany’s mainstream parties treat the far-right AfD like Voldemort—"He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named"—because, "gasp", they actually talk about migration. Meanwhile, Vance met AfD leader Alice Weidel, snubbing Chancellor Scholz like a bad Tinder date. German Defense Minister Boris Pistorius huffed, “Unacceptable!” while the EU’s Kaja Kallas whined about “picking fights.” Honey, if your democracy crumbles because "Russia bought a few Facebook ads", maybe your democracy’s made of papier-mâché.
Europe’s elites are so busy virtue-signaling, they’ve forgotten what actual voters want. Cancel elections? Censor speech? Gaslight citizens about migration?
Meanwhile, Vance, the “new sheriff", tells Europe to stop their circus, or get left in the dust. Europe’s elites got two choices: keep sipping champagne in the ivory tower, or admit their policies are a dumpster fire.
The writer is Editor of Geopolis.com
