Through the square-shaped window of the train, he is indifferently watching the hustle and bustle of the country's busiest railway station. The passengers and hawkers on the platform are moving hurriedly here and there. The trains are blowing piercing whistles at regular intervals. Moving trains look like giant pythons slithering for prey. The sky is turning into a reddish hue, but the remains of the setting sun are still visible in the western sky. The call for the Maghrib prayer is heard from the nearby mosques.
He has been sitting beside the window for a while, waiting for the train to start moving. It is indeed strange the way he has ended up here, in the second-class compartment of a train that will take him to the southernmost tip of the country in the early morning tomorrow. It's uncertain whether he is feeling intimidated in the deepest recesses of his mind. He has prepared himself for this moment for quite a while; he should not let it go astray. Moreover, he needs to take the burden off his shoulders, and it is high time he did this.
A wall of division has already been formed between his inner and outer world, and he doesn't know since when. Unfortunately, that wall is impossible to knock down now. When he looks back into the shadowy past, the things he sees are only deprivations and failures. He knows that it is his inaction and moral cowardice that have made him internally weak, and it's hard to endure anymore.
But can he subvert his inner world?
His mind has been habituated to be passive owing to the way he grew up with hopelessness. He was always burdened, and no one supported him. Besides, one of the predicaments in his life is his inability to take action at the right moment. Perhaps that is the reason he has been neglected by everyone, making him a defeated soldier on life's battlefield. All he needed was an escape, a recess or an exit from everything surrounding him. He wanted to delve into the darkness from where no one could find him for a while.
Out of inner rage and bitterness, he wanted to do something, be it irrational. He must leave everything behind to regenerate himself, to be resurrected. The burden that has been weighing him down must be thrown away. So, here he is now, sitting inside the train and thinking of the uncertain time lying ahead. No one will know where he is heading. Perhaps people will search for him for a while and then give up.
Now, looking out of the window of the train, he can feel the inner agony. Torrents of thoughts are engulfing his mind. Unknown doubts also begin to darken his already divided mind. The opportunity to do something meaningful only for himself is in his hands right now. Or will it slip away like the other failures of his life?
Outside, the guard is blowing the whistle. The train will depart pretty shortly. The clock is ticking, and he needs to make the final decision. But his mind is getting foggy out of all the confusion. Even inside the AC compartment, he feels beads of perspiration on his forehead and his back. His pressure is on the rise. What will happen if he departs? That's the question circling in his already bewildered mind now. He needs to make a decision within seconds.
Eventually, he stood up, walked up to the gate, and stepped onto the platform. His mind is frozen. He felt the hopelessness growing inside him and making his insides nearly explode. Is it that easy to forget and flee from the reality he is living in? Do people like him have that much freedom?
The train began to move slowly behind him, but he couldn't look back. His mind is occupied with solving life's complex puzzle. He only felt the tremor of the passing train and kept standing there until it departed the station. The train left with the empty seat he had been occupying even a few minutes ago. Another train arrived from somewhere on the opposite platform, and throngs of passengers were coming out of it and moving towards the exit gate. He looked around for a few seconds and then plodded towards the exit gate and gradually blended into the crowd.