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Distance 

Published : Saturday, 2 November, 2024 at 12:00 AM  Count : 4016
Sumon Reza
It's a very calm and quiet night in the final quarter of December. Nights in the winter of this time, for many reasons, are an enjoyable thing. It was such a winter night when a cold breeze dominated nature and darkness overshadowed everything. Surovi, a young girl of around 20/21, wakes up from bed by listening to a peculiar sound outside the door. Seems like someone throws something from distance. 

Surovi opens the door. She was surprised to see an envelope just close to the doorstep. Her mind danced for a while due to overwhelming curiosity. However, the letter wedged into the doorframe was in a red envelope, as if someone had hurriedly left it there. Surovi picked it up slowly. Suddenly she noticed, a storm was raging outside, but there was an eerie silence in the air. As soon as she held the letter, a chill spread through her body.

It had been a long time since Surovi received a letter like this. Hardly anyone writes letters anymore. In the age of messages, phone calls, and video calls, the existence of letters has faded away. Yet, this red envelope blurred her memories, bringing back the days when each word carried immense weight.

Her heart started pounding even before she opened the envelope. A flurry of questions raced through her mind. "Has he returned? After all this time? But why?" With these thoughts swirling, she opened the letter.

It contained only a few lines:
"I have returned. But not for you. Only for this city. There are things I left behind that I need to retrieve."
Surovi read the letter again. And then once more. The words began to blur before her eyes. "I have returned, but not for you"-these words imprinted on her mind. She had known this day would come, but she had never imagined it would be like this.

"Did you really receive the letter?"-Arman's voice came through the phone, distant as if from afar.

"Yes, I did," Surovi replied briefly.

"I have things to say," Arman's voice carried a quiet resentment.

"I'm listening."

"You never truly understood me, Surovi."

"Not understanding you was perhaps my own failing," Surovi's voice held a calmness.

"You were always so distant. Yet I was always there for you. But you never came close to me, not even once."

Surovi stayed silent. Arman's voice seemed to drift further, becoming faint, as though shrouded in an invisible mist.

"Did you ever truly wait for me?" Arman's question pulled her back to reality.

"Perhaps not. Perhaps I didn't even know what I was doing."

Arman sighed deeply, "You wouldn't understand, Surovi."

Surovi drifted into memories. They were sitting by the riverside, the breeze tossing Arman's hair. He held her hand firmly, as though afraid to lose her. The letter today was as blurred as that day's sunset.
That day, too, Arman had asked, "Do you love me?"

Surovi hadn't answered. She had only gazed at the river, where light and shadow intertwined and dissolved into one. But these unspoken words had built a wall between them, through which love could never flow.

Surovi looked at the letter again, feeling a strange emptiness. There were perhaps many things left unsaid, but Arman had never managed to say more than these few lines. The end of their relationship felt as incomplete as the letter, tangled with questions and unspoken feelings.

Yet, Surovi couldn't shake off the feeling that the letter's words held a mysterious tone. "Only for this city"-this line puzzled her. Had Arman really come back to retrieve something, or was there another motive? It felt like an invitation to an unknown destination.

In her mind, she wondered, "This city, these old memories… why has Arman returned here after all these years? Does he want to say something that I still haven't understood? Or is this simply a farewell?"

"Will you never forgive me?" Arman's last question still lingered in the air.

Surovi knew she had never answered it. Or perhaps she couldn't. Some questions remain like questions themselves, their answers often dissolving into the mist.

Where did their separation truly begin? Was it when they drifted apart, or when they couldn't understand each other despite being together? The silent cries of love had already faded into the sky. And today, this letter seemed to echo that silence.

Night deepened. The city grew even quieter. A faint old song drifted in from outside the window. Surovi knew she wouldn't sleep tonight. She placed the letter on the table, right where letters used to pile up once. Yet, she kept dreaming, dreaming and dreaming. Dreaming about their (Arman and Surovi) golden, romantic days. She remembers every moment they've spent together with joy overshadowed. 

Both of them understand at the time that an invisible distance has been created between them. They tried to solve the distance from both sides, but for unknown reasons,s, their attempts failed. Arman got a job and posted far away from the city. Surovi, on the other hand, remained busy as her HSC exam came nearer. So, for undefinable reasons, a well-designed relationship breaks suddenly without any specific reason. Whose root has been created quite earlier. But at the end of the day, the reality is both of them are far from each other, both mentally and physically. Yet still, both remember their lost days with heavy hearts. They don't blame anyone for the downfall but it is only the fate which they could blame for.

However, what happened in the end, any of them didn't know. And perhaps the reader won't know either. But that emptiness, that pain-they can be felt and understood. The agony of parting, the curiosity for the loved one or even the state of not being able to dreaming creates all the differences, and this creates the distance.

The writer is a poet, columnist and Sub Editor of The News Times



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