Impact of parental conflict on children
Love and conflict are the two inseparable parts of human life. Love and respect win the heart while conflict and hatred wound heart causing much devastation in life. We know that every relation starts with harmony but harmonizing is tough throughout the relation. Obviously, marriage settles the relation and harmony between husband and wife. But marital conflict is one of the growing problems in the present time and amid this conflict children are greatly influenced.
It is true that parental conflict is a severe form of marital conflict. The parents who undergo conflicting relation in the family expose improper behaviours and attitudes risking children with developing emotional, social and behavioural problems, as well as difficulties with concentration and educational achievement. Not only that the children who endure the broken relation of their parents are found to be predictive of later delinquency.
Studies found that delinquency rates were higher among the children undergoing a disrupted family before they reach to the age of 15 compared with those raised in an intact family. In most cases, parenting matters. Obviously, good parenting makes a good shape for children to be a quality resource that not only brings brighter future for the children but also contributes to building up a good society prerequisite to live peacefully.
Actually, parental conflict is not confined inside the family. In many cases parents take decision for the permanent separation. Once it was thought that people of western countries cannot continue their marital relation for long but in the present days, breaking up marriage is a common phenomenon in many countries. Bangladesh is not the exception as people are enduring the declination in their relation every day.
Over the years relationship among the family members has declined. Also we see that extended families are breaking into small ones. Emotions, love and respect to one another have faded away. People have lost their trust upon others.
It is evident that the rate of divorce is alarmingly rising. Especially the city people are bearing the most brunt. The report says that in the capital every day more than 39 divorces are taking place and in an every hour there occurs one divorce in the city which is really alarming.
Domestic violence accelerates the rate of divorce. Things get harder when the victim finds no options to stay at bridegroom's house despite enduring huge cruelties. Sometimes the victim is found to commit suicide leaving her offspring alone. The ill-fated children face huge discrimination inside and outside of the family and society.
Another thing is that, divorce corresponds to separation between husband and wife that makes their children the worst affected. Sometimes it is noticed in the society that both of the spouses claim to have their offspring with them.
They try to win the case over one another to own the children through the court trials. However, it makes a debate for every divorce whether husband or wife bears the brunt but it is crystal clear that their children are the worst sufferers.
On top of that, many parents hardly watch their children's steps. In many cases children are given excessive freedom that deviate them from performing their respected works. You may see some youths especially in the cities who get involved in many misdeeds but their parents hardly have headache to the matter.
In these days the evil deeds or crimes done by the youths or teens are one of the most discussed issues. The situation always claims the parents responsible as the going astray of the youth may be due to bad parenting. It is also evident that many parents do not provide enough time to their children and due to increasing the gap between parents and children such incidents of violence are taking place in the society.
Alarmingly, in the recent years the teens are fond of participating in DJ parties which have been emergent as a virus. I think this virus is much stronger than the coronavirus as this one is crippling our youths .It has been an everyday phenomenon when we go through dailies that how youths and teens endanger themselves getting involved in such parties and clubs.
Recently, in connection with the rape and murder of a student of a private university in the capital, the name of Farzana Zaman Neha known as DJ Neha gets viral, who along with other associates used to arrange parties at different VIP places every night targeting some unruly sons of the moneyed. Dailies have exposed many secret misdeeds of DJ Neha.
Children of the upper castes of the society were invited to organize Shisha parties, wine parties and obscene dances. DJ Neha was the queen in the dark world. Not only DJ Neha, there are many impostors like her are still active with their glamour to destroy the youths but we hardly have any scopes to save the society from their clutches.
Certainly, many perpetrators like DJ Neha behind the vigilance of the law enforcing agencies are doing their unethical business. Undoubtedly, they are the products of broken family whose parents have any control over them. Studies reveal that poor parenting and family breakdown is fuelling a rise in violent bad behaviour and misdeeds.
According to sociologists and psychologists, there may be many reasons such as lack of parental guidance, fragile family bonds and moral degradation, false sense of heroism, culture of impunity, peer pressure, substance abuse and disadvantaged socio-economic status that correspond to the growing incidents of juvenile violence.
However, to prevent juvenile violence and many other crimes by the teens, parents can never deny their responsibilities. It is evident that if parents do not watch the steps of their children, conducting legal drives against teenage gangs, arresting their members, and sending them to jail or to correction centres hardly prevent them from going astray. More importantly, it is a must to raise parental awareness along with educating children morally in family and educational institutions.
Alaul Alam teaches at Prime University