Responsible parenting a prequisite for children’s proper education
A recently occurred incident of two students of different two schools in Dhaka certainly has made all parents extremely anxious about their children's education. I should not describe that incident here. As a parent myself is also not out of them in terms of anxiety and mental stress. But, what's mine to do as a parent? Can a man be daring enough to stop it? Or, can any law be enforced after inducing the occurrence? If the answer is 'Yes and something may be done', I morally say that the effective 'PARENTING' is must to ensure children's proper education.
Parenting is a process of rearing up the children after their advent in the world. Parenting refers to the intricacies of raising a child and not exclusively for a biological relationship." It is an important contributing factor to child development and childhood psychopathology.
Parenting tends to show some styles that lead the children towards the righteous path of becoming a good human being in society. In the view of psychologists, there are four styles of effective parenting;
* Authoritarian parenting is often thought of as disciplinarian. In this parenting a strict discipline style with little negotiation possible is used and punishment is common. This style generally leads to children who are obedient and proficient, but they rank lower in happiness, social competence, and self-esteem.
* Authoritative parenting is reasonable and nurturing, and sets high, clear expectations. This style tends to be self-disciplined and think for themselves. This style is thought to be most beneficial to children and it results in children who are happy, capable, and successful.
* Permissive or Indulgent parenting is mostly used in a flexible mood and offers limited guidance or direction. This parenting often results in children who rank low in happiness and self-regulation. These children are more likely to experience problems with authority and tend to perform poorly in school.
* Uninvolved or negligent parenting styles rank lowest across all life domains. These children tend to lack self-control, have low self-esteem, and are less competent than their peers in this parenting, the children are given a lot of freedom and generally they are not properly guided for their better life.
* The authoritarian, authoritative and permissive parentings are the acceptable parenting styles for rearing up the children and offering them a developed life. On the other hand, uninvolved or negligent parenting is the worst and the most unacceptable parenting for the children. In this parenting, parents get themselves aloof from taking care of their children and they stay out their way.
* Due to not having any close watch upon the children's works, they become day by day unruly and undisciplined. The incident of the two students denotes this kind of parenting. If they had good parenting, they could not have that scope to involve in such offensive and obnoxious work. This parenting makes the parents pessimistic about their children's beautiful future.
So, for effective parenting, all parents should take some measures to avoid any unparliamentary deeds of their children. The following some ideas are shared here for learning about good parenting:
1. Children's self-esteem should be boosted up as they start developing their sense of self as babies when they see themselves through their parents' eyes. Parents' voice, body language and every expression are absorbed by the children. Parents' words and actions affect their developing self-esteem more than anything else. Praising accomplishments, however small, will make them feel proud; letting children do things independently will make them feel capable and strong.
2. The more effective approach is to catch children doing something right. Parents should make a point of finding something to praise every day and be generous with rewards. Parents love, hugs, and compliments can work wonders and are often enough.
3. Parents should set limits and be consistent with your discipline, which is necessary in every household. The goal of discipline is to help children choose acceptable behaviors and learn self-control. Establishing house rules helps children understand your expectations and develop self-control. In the modern age, use of electronic devices like mobile, laptop, tab and other any internet based devices are impacting our children seriously. Parents should set a boundary on using those.
4. A quality time should be managed by parents for their children. It's often difficult for parents and children to get together for a family function. Keeping a good time for children is essential for parents as a reward.Adolescents seem to need less undivided attention from their parents than younger children. Because there are fewer windows of opportunity for parents and teens to get together, parents should do their best to be available when their teen does express a desire to talk or participate in family activities. Attending different festivals, games, and other events with your teen communicates caring and lets you get to know more about your child and his or her friends in important ways.
5. Parenting should be with a model playing role by the parents for their children. Young children learn a lot about how to act by watching their parents. Studies have shown that children who hit usually have a role model for aggression at home. Parents wish to see in their children, a sense of respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness, tolerance, good etc. Parents should express thanks and offer compliments to their children.
6. Parenting should be prioritized for communication with the children. If parents always remain far away from caring for them and do not keep watch on what their children do outside the home, there will grow some unexpected matters which may affect the entire family status. If children are always in proper communication with their kids, there might be less least accident in their moral aspects.
7. Parenting must be dealt with in a flexible and balanced manner. Remaining always tough with children, results negatively for their mental development. Children should have the scope to develop themselves under the parents' proper guidance as to what they should do and what they shouldn't in their environment where they grow. Parents must have the expectations from children's behaviour and performance, but that should not be in a nonjudgmental way.
8. Parenting should also be in a corrective way, not in an insulting way. Parents' love for their children should be unconditional but not blind. It is the responsibility of the parents to observe their children and see where they go, where they pass time during schooling, who their friends are. Parents should guide them in a corrective manner and also should express their positive attitudes towards their children. While confronting their children, parents should avoid blaming, criticizing, or fault-finding, which undermine self-esteem and can lead to resentment. Instead, parents should strive to nurture and encourage, even when disciplining their children.
Therefore, we understand that parenting should be in a dynamic process, which can teach the children how to grow up with a proper education.Parents might feel like they're traversing an ever-changing landscape of parenting issues, with modern problems like cyber-bullying and rising celebrity culture providing new challenges. But while the world evolves at a rapid rate, the best parenting advice stands the test of time. Effective parenting is the best way of keeping our children in the right tract. We should strongly believe that effective parenting is the requisite for children's proper education and realistic valued life.
Dr Md Mahmudul Hassan is an Education Researcher and Principal, Daffodil International School (DIS)