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Retrospection

Published : Saturday, 12 September, 2020 at 12:00 AM  Count : 328

Ayman Anika

Ayman Anika

Viewing my past experiences through the lenses of rationality, I derive my tranquility; my unyielding resilience. Sometimes my memories arrive to remind me that I am a unique creation of the creator-again they merely come as a guest to create a swirling orbit of pains in my heart. In retrospect, I see and remember what choices and recollections are responsible for the person I am now.

My retrospective gaze aids me to visualize the sweet reminiscence of my childhood-this soothing quilt keeps me warm when the dark days become too cold to endure.

I remember my mother; whom I see as the epitome of grace and innocence. She supported and helped me to build my core-shape my essence. I remember how she taught me to write. I used to sit beside her and she would gently insert the half-used pen into my tiny fingers, which were yet to learn the art of writing. When there would be no electricity, we wouldplace the candle in front of the paper and she would help me to write letters to my grandmother as due to living in a rural area I rarely got the privilege to call her. In retrospect, I remember the beautiful faces of my mother and my grandmother.

Retrospection

Retrospection

In retrospect, I remember the day when my life as I knew before-changed forever. It was a gloomy day with a grieving sky and in the blue hour, we had buried my mother. The sun was illuminating faded light and was announcing the perceptual night that was about to come in my life with the demise of my mother. I remember the day when my mother was laid to eternal rest.

In retrospect, I remember the soft hands of my grandmother-how she used to apply oil to my hair and take me to the rooftop. I miss the clear sky of the night that I used to stare at, sitting beside my lovely grandmother who would always bring levity into my life. I can still envision the silky white hair of my grandmother. I can recall the generous face of that eighty-year-old shopkeeper with whom I had no blood relation yet the kindness he showed towards me is still ingrained in my tender heart. I remember the small wooden shop he had, in which he would not have many items to sell but the poverty-stricken life of his had never polluted his joyous nature. I remember the witty stories filled with humility he used to tell me.

Looking back, I can still feel the soft grass under my feet, the earthy smell after the summer rain-the meadow where I had once felt the sunbeam, lighting my face with the feeling of everlasting gratitude.

In retrospect, I remember those people who have made me laugh and who have been the cause of some of my poignant memories. Never have I been able to regret the choices I have made in the name of love, the people whom I have let enter into my life-who left without saying goodbye. With the utmost fondness-I remember each reminiscence that has generated chaos and calmness within myself. I dedicate my retrospection to the life I have made for myself and to that remembrance because of which I am here today. My retrospection has taught me the value of living a simple life and given me the strength to feel grounded.

Keeping my recollection stored in my heart, I have decided to set on a journey; carrying a light backpack of worries and anxieties.

The writer is a student, Department of English, Daffodil International University













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