Divorce factors in Bangladesh
Remarriage is one of the most important issues currently being discussed in Bangladeshi newspapers and Facebook pages of Bangladeshi peoples. Two women getting the most press are the famous actress Mithila and the ex-wife of therenownedwriter Late Homayoun Ahmed, Gultekin Ahmed. People can remarry as many times as they divorced or widowed. If I divorce seven times, I can remarry seven times too. There is no age restriction or any special criteria required. And of course, it is not a matter of other people's business. In the human world, everyday divorce and remarriage are happening in all the countries around the world among the richest through the poorest, the educated and the illiterate.
But people tend to focus most on celebrities. In this article, my concern is for the children of divorced couple. The parents play the most important roles in their children's well beings and divorce is heartache for the children whether from poor or rich families. Children are unique, innocent, and do not understand parents' feelings such as love, hatred, or conflict between mother and father. The parents are separated but the children are not separated from them. Even the parents are divorced they both utter the universal truth to their child "I love you."Both mother and father have the same rights and responsibilities,and fathers must provide child support until the child turns 18.
The report from the a reputed daily as cited in the Bangladesh Bureau of Statistics (BBS), indicated that applications for divorce rose 34 per cent in Bangladesh. According to Historical Divorce Rate Statistics, in 2000, the U S Census Bureau reported the divorce rate at 4,539 per 100,000 for men and 6,577 per 100,000 for women. As of 2009, only 63% of American children grow up with both biological parents. As of 2003, 43.7% of mothers and 56.2% of fathers were either divorced or separated. In 2003, it was reported that 7.8 million Americans paid roughly $40 billion in child or spousal support, with 84% of those paying were males.
Separation of the parents affects children's social-emotional, cognitive, academic, and behavioral domains. When couples divorce, their children often face the loss of one of the parents; when the mother and father remarry, their children are confused about having two fathers or two mothers. Children's age also plays a significant role in divorce. In my preschool classroom, in a circle time activity, one child expressed his happy feeling that he is going to meet his new dad and instantly a Bangladeshi child began to cry by saying they had no new dad. A family environment is a vital place for children to learn the importance of discipline, conduct and curtesy, morality, and humanity.
The children of intact families are more capable ofreaching typical development milestones than the children of divorced families. These children face complexities in their daily life. Parental conflictsalso tend to increase the risk of suicide for some of the children who are unable to cope with theunhappy family environment. The degree of the severity of conflict between husband and wife differs from couple to couple and is based on the family's problematic issues. Adult children are capable of understanding the causes of parental friction and sometimes intervene to improve relationship between their parents or help them to have a discussion about divorce and to abstain from interrupting their personal lives.
Couple's living agreements vary, based on culture, personal attitude, dignity, and family's natural atmosphere. Some people are not interested in the marriage and prefer living together while the mother establishes herself as a single mother. In my school, I met ae teacher who has three children with two men, and she is separated from both and looking for another boyfriend. This is her lifestyle and her own choice. The traditional wedding system gradually changed over time in all countries around the world. Women's empowerment is one of the strong factors of this evolution.
The writer is a School Guidance Counselor & Psychologist based in USA